How Should We Remember Princess Diana?

My earliest, and most vivid, royal memory is the night that Princess Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris. I was in high school, cozied up on a couch at my boyfriend’s house watching a movie. His mom shouted down from upstairs that we needed to change the television channel; together we spent hours glued to cable news coverage. I had not followed Diana’s life closely, having been just too young to keep tabs in real time. But the tragedy of her sudden death hit me hard.

Twenty five years later, and now much more immersed in her story, I have found myself wondering what is the best—or perhaps most appropriate—way to remember Princess Diana? My heart first goes to William and Harry. They were were just 15 and 12 at the time of their mother’s death. The images of them walking in Diana’s funeral procession, sporting in black suits and strained expressions, are unbearable even now.

A year later, those still-young boys issued a joint statement, pleading with the public to stop—or even just stem—the outpouring of grief. “They believe their mother would want people now to move on because she would have known that constant reminders of her death can create nothing but pain to those she left behind,” the statement read, according to the Guardian’s 1998 report. “They therefore hope, very much, that their mother and her memory will now finally be allowed to rest in peace.”

Which, oof. That has clearly not happened. Yes, there have been stretches where Diana was perhaps not as present—but her memory has never been far from reach. And now we are in the midst of an extraordinary Diana royal renaissance. It’s hard to pinpoint what moment caught the attention of a new generation, eager to learn her story. There is the wildly popular Netflix series The Crown, of course, and a slew of other fictionalized accounts, including the Oscar-nominated Spencer. Add to that a host of documentaries seeking to piece the facts together and a handful of larger-than-life experiences, like Diana: Accredited Access as well as Diana: A Tribute Exhibition opening this week on the Las Vegas Strip (really). The mix includes all of the merchandise, too, from the re-issued black sheep jumper to the Virgin Atlantic logo sweatshirt. If you’d like a piece of Diana, she’s there for the taking.

I have certainly bought into, and played my own part, in all of this. Researching Diana’s life was the most fascinating part of working on my book, HRH: So Many Thoughts on Royal Style. I was so deeply affected by her story and the ways in which she was glorified and pilloried on the global stage. She was just 19 years old when Charles proposed and 36 when she died. As I watch, and comment on, the royal family today, I feel Diana’s influence in fashion and beyond.

With the anniversary of her death today, and another swell of coverage, I have been mulling over what to say or how to remember her. I think it is safest to take cues from her sons. I see Diana’s influence in the work that William and Harry have chosen, including mental health and homelessness, as well as the hands-on approach they take with crowds.

Consider, too, the ways in which William and Harry have chosen to help the public remember her, signaling an acceptance that her memory is beyond containment. They came together last year to unveil a memorial statue outside of Kensington Palace. Although it received mixed reactions at the time, I found it quite moving when I had a chance to see it in London last summer.

Today her sons appear to be marking this moment privately. But Harry briefly made his wishes known last week at a polo match for his charity, Sentebale, which means “forget-me-not” in the African language of Sesotho.

“Next week is the 25th anniversary of my mother’s death, and she most certainly will never be forgotten,” he said. “I want it to be a day filled with memories of her incredible work and love for the way she did it.”

I would say the same sentiment is true about Diana’s fashion, which is why I think there is so much attention given to the moments Kate and Meghan channel her style. Yes, sometimes it feels as though the media is a bit too eager to call “Diana inspired!” on royal outfits in search of clicks. But there are moments when one of the duchesses wears something that is an undeniable nod to Diana. I always look for a definitive sign—a design detail or a styling choice—that ties the women and their ensembles together. Another giveaway? When one of the women wears a piece of jewelry from Diana’s collection. It feels like such an intimate connection to see Diana’s pearl and diamond earrings on Kate or her butterfly studs on Meghan.

My sincere belief is that any fashion moment that references Diana is done with William or Harry’s approval. Kate wouldn’t choose a polka dot dress to appear on the steps of the Lindo Wing to with baby George, the same print Diana wore in the same spot with William, if she didn’t have her husband’s blessing.

So why do the duchesses do this? To me, it’s a way of bringing her back into the conversation, without mentioning the trauma of her divorce or the tragedy of her death. It inevitably leads to a resurfacing of glorious pictures, of a smiling Diana in her royal role. Meghan wore Diana’s diamond tennis bracelet for her sit-down interview with Oprah in 2021, which resulted in a host of headlines mentioning the late princess. The same happened when Kate wore a white dress with polka dots to Royal Ascot this year. By invoking Diana through her fashion, the next generations of royals is keeping her in the mix on their terms.